The Management Mythbuster

Not allowed in Vegas, but Phuket's O.K.

Great story juxtaposition in the Wall Street Journal on Wednesday.  On one page there was a long article on how some government departments have black-listed cities such as Las Vegas, Reno, and Orlando as sites for meetings and conferences. (Dare to enjoy oneself) The fear is that this may give the appearance that someone may actually have some fun while attending such events. Apparently, Chicago, Denver and Portland are better bets.  Not only is this stupid (aren't people in Vegas and Orlando allowed to have jobs anymore?) it is also hypocritical - you can have lots of inappropriate expense account fun in Chicago, Denver and Portland.  If they were really serious the list of acceptable places would include Akron, Gary, and Buffalo.

On the very nexty page of the Journal was a piece on Clinton's Asian tour. (Hillary in Phuket) She is now in Thailand attending an Asean summit in Phuket -- which is the utlimate boondoggle playground in the region!  Some one will need to audit her expenses very carefully.

Politics pays! Do they have any credibility left?

"The House of Representatives, with little comment or opposition, on Friday approved an 8 percent increase in the budget for members' office expenses."

Can I approve an 8 percent reduction in my taxes please?  It's nice to know our elected representatives will not suffer during the recession - its important to keep all the mistresses on the payroll during these challenging times.  And to think the scandal in the UK was over allowances of up to $75,000 compared to the $1.5 million each Congressman gets. As I was told as a kid - everything is bigger in America!

What did he say?

I've said a lot of stupid things in my time and no doubt will add to my oeuvre in the years to come.  The good news is I am not alone. Many people who are supposedly smarter than me and certainly richer than me have successfully managed to insert their foot in their mouth to great effect. 

A few years ago Michael Eisner, the former CEO of Walt Disney described the first few weeks after the opening of the EuroDisney theme park in 1992, thus: "We've already had a million German and a million British visitors, and to have those numbers in France without a war going on is really something."  Very eloquent don't you think. 

More recently there have been some great quotes regarding the financial crisis. Last September, Hank Greenberg, former CEO of AIG in September 2008 commented on the company: "It's a healthy company financially except for liquidity." Well that's o.k. then; I'm glad they didn't have any other problems or else it may have cost us more than the $150 billion committed to the company's bailout so far.

And then last week there were two really good ones...

John Chambers, CEO of Cisco, while announcing his company's results on 4th February 2009 shocked the world with his observation: "It is now clear that we are in a global economic slowdown." As my kids would say "Well Duh!"   Where has this guy been for the last few months that only now is he beginning to realize the economy is in the crapper?

And finally our new President is not immune. As nominee after nominee went down to tax-related scandals he commented:  "it's important for this administration to send a message that there aren't two sets of rules."  I agree Mr. President, but what about Mr. Geithner? There are already two sets of rules they just apply to different people in different ways.  This is also a great argument for flat tax don't you think?

So This Is What Change Looks Like

The poor guy hasn't even been inaugurated yet but the promises of change are looking shaky already.  Don't get me wrong I want Barack to emerge as a great leader - it's what America needs - but we need some positive signs...

- His pick for Treasury Secretary made an "honest mistake" it not paying over $30,000 in taxes - would you or I get away with that?  Geithner probably will because these are "extraordinary times" so if I forget to pay my taxes this year will I catch a break?

- His pick for Secretary of State has a husband who has raised millions from all manner of foreign individuals and governments but of course none of these donations were made with a view to gaining any influence whatsoever despite the fact that said husband is an ex-President.

- Rep. Edolphus Towns the new head of House Oversight and Government Reform Committee listed his top five issues and coming in at number five was whether the college football championship was being decided in the fairest manner.  Yup, I've got to agree that is one of the top issues of the day.

- The highly ethical Governor of the Land of Lincoln quotes from Abe's second inaugural address in asking the Illinois legislature to put the people first rather than his own rather sordid and certainly potty-mouthed dealings.  Does the image of Rod channeling Abe strike you as just a little incongruous?  They only have one thing in common and that's a dodgy haircut!

Historic! Now comes the hard part

So the election made history. Two years ago we knew this would be a historic election, we just thought it would be because the first woman made it to the White House (no, not Sarah Palin, the other one).

I gave up ninety minutes of my Tuesday to perform my democratic duty and navigate my way through the four page ballot - that's about 89 minutes longer than it takes back in the U.K.  There was a serious queuing issues in our precinct; the other three precincts sharing the same voting centre had no queue at all.  I must live in the wrong part of town. 

The polls in Ohio closed at 7.30pm and I listening to the talking heads for a few hours; unlike 2000 and 2004 I got to bed at 11pm as Obama claimed victory and unlike 2000 was still victorious when I got up in the morning.  Some final comments after the marathon process:

- Obama has proved himself a great campaigner (and fundraiser), can he prove himself to be a great leader as America certainly needs one?

- Can he ever live up to the hype?  The press have built him up into an almost mythical figure. Can the reality be anything but disappointing?  I hope he can but suspect he can't.

- Why do I have to vote for so many judges? Crime must be really bad around here to need so many and what are all these different courts anyway.  What the hell is a Common Plea?

- I can do almost anything online -  pay my taxes, move money around the world,  have a meaningful relationship with Tara from Texas, yet I can't be trusted to vote online. Instead I have to fill in little circles with a ballpoint pen after standing in line for ninety minutes.  What's wrong with this picture?

- Are all those yard signs recyclable?  How green was your election?

Cheers

Are we there yet?

I'm knackered. Six weeks of constant travel - eight countries, 29 flights and 27 nights away from home followed by my second knee surgery of the year this morning have taken their toll.  But's that not the real reason for my lethargy.  The combination of politics and economics are what has done me in.  Watching one's net worth decline by 30% is a sobering experience (well not really - it's a good excuse for another beer actually) but then we are all somewhat in the same boat. Though its a bit galling to find out that the so-called smart guys on Wall Street, in the City and apparently in downturn Reykjavik  are just as stupid as the rest of us. Pity it was my money they are playing with. 

Of course everyone is now touting the unprecedented buying opportunity that the current free-fall represents; to me it all sounds like the sales pitch from a Miami condo developer but then again I'm just a poor (now much poorer) cynic. Still hopes springs eternal and with a new President to be elected in ten days we can all look forward to him sorting out the mess and single-handedly restoring hope and prosperity to everyone.  I say singlehandedly since he can expect little help from Congress which seems to have an approval rating somewhat below that of George III in 1776. Although we can expect a few nice new bridges to appear in the middle of Nebraska and an oceanographic institute to be built in Kentucky.  So as Barack prepares to assume the leadership of the free but indebted world we know one thing for sure - only a few weeks until the race for 2012 begins - pass me another Vicoden please...

So this is democracy

Let me try and get this straight.  Last year Clinton and Obama both agreed that the Florida and Michigan primaries should not count as they broke the rules; but now that Hillary needs the votes it's suddenly undemocratic not to count them.  How can it have been democratic not to count them nine months ago but now it is?  Anyway, in a classic politcal but not very democratic compromise, Florida and Michigan will now only count for half as much as the other 48 states (plus Guam, Puerto Rico and probably a few other outposts of the empire).  As a resident of Ohio I can fully support any notion that our neighbour to the north-west and the winter home for 98.3% of Ohioans over 65 are really only worth half-as-much as real Buckeye's.

Still its not a great advert for the democratic process (an oxymoron surely).  I was pondering this while reading the first few pages of Jean Edward Smith's biography of FDR when I came across the perfect quote on the joys of political life. Rebecca, who was the first wife of FDR's father (she died before he was born), became concerned that James may actually get nominated as a Democrat for the New York State Senate. She recorded in her diary, "James went to a political meeting, I was dreafully afraid he would be nominated...but he got home safely."

R U bored yet?

Waiting for the Pennsylvania primary to finally take place has been akin to anticipating an upcoming root canal. Never have so many meaningless words been directed at so few.

Since when has 3am in the morning become the most important time of the day? If it is, I've been missing something for the last 46 years except for a few days in college and I can't really remember what happened then anyway - something about a late curry and a few cans of Special Brew I think.

Why does it seem ironic to me that a very rich white woman who was educated at the best schools and has been moving amongst the country's upper echelons for almost two decades can call a black guy an elitist? And why is that a bad thing? I suspect many of Obama's ancestors, at least on one side of his family, would be proud of such a supposed insult.

I know Iraq and healthcare are big issues but where's the plan on rising gas prices and food prices. Which candidate has the best strategy beyond taxing oil companies more, maybe they will start taxing Chavez and Putin/Medvedev, after all they have far more oil than all the oil companies put together.

Of course all this politics has obscured the most important issue of the day. Will Stoke City hold on to a promotion spot in the English Football Championship and thereby secure passage to the vaunted Premier League? With two games to go they are three points clear of the third place team with the top two assured of promotion. Only Leicester and Colchester stand in their way. I can barely contain myself ... watch this space for the real news of the day.

Inflation - it's all Spitzer's fault!

As if Bear Stearns contriving to lose billions in value in a single day wasn't enough - even Michael Jackson failed to spend that fast - we are now told that it costs 1.7 cents to make a penny and 10 cents to make a nickel (5 cent coin). So that's where my tax dollars go - the government can't even make a profit on making money!

With petrol north of $3.30 and the price of pizza rising almost weekly the inflationary pressures are clear. Everything seems to cost more. I can't wait to land in the UK tomorrow and glory in the purchasing power of the dollar. At least the beer will taste of something albeit at $6 a pint. However, all of these price rises pail in comparison to the impact on the overall economy of one Eliot Spitzer, former governor of New York state. His uncontrollable libido has materially driven up the price of the most essential component in any male's basket of commodities. Revelations that he was willing to pay $1,000 an hour for sex, and that was for a moderately priced session, top rate is apparently over $4,000 an hour, has destroyed the economics of numerous Americans. Even my wife is demanding a pay raise! The economics of love have always been a touchy subject but the long-term impact of Spitzer's behaviour will resonate well beyond the Empire State.

As basic economics tells us, when the price rises, demand usually falls. This could have catastrophic implications for mental state of much of the male population. I predict phenomenal growth in NASCAR viewing and Budweiser consumption. There will be a temporary blip in productivity as people work harder to compensate for the lack of other outlets for their energy. There will be a general rise in irritability but the economic benefits will actually pull the economy out of its current malaise and growth will resume, leading to higher wages which in turn will restore price equilibrium as demand and supply again equalize. A smile will return to the face of the average American.

These basic economic effects will actually resurrect Spitzer’s reputation. By 2010, Ben Bernanke will be praising Eliot Spitzer as the single most important stimulus for the now booming economy. This will naturally lead to his presidential run in 2012 with his beaming wife lauding the sacrifices her husband has made for the sake of the American economy.

Sounds farfetched – not in the least – this is America after all!

More on China - can the contradiction last?

Since I got back from China on Thursday the news has been full of the protests against Chinese rule in Tibet. Human rights has been a touchy subject in China for many years and there are few signs of it diminishing. With the Olympics just 144 days away, China's leaders are walking a fine line between a joyous celebration of China's economic miracle and condemnation for a continuing oppression. It's a contradiction that defines the nation. China, alone among Communist nations (altohugh Vietnam is treading the same path), has managed to embrace rapid economic growth while maintaining rigid central party control. Capitalism and communism co-exist. Rolls Royce's cruise the streets of Shanghai but free speech is an illusion and only last week the Chinese government reiterated that the "one child per family" policy was not going away anytime soon.

The government has successfully allowed massive development on the mainland, maintained much of Hong Kong's vitality in the decade since the end of British rule and grown to become the world's second largest economic power. At what point does the tension between capitalism and communism reach breaking point? Will the 1.4 billion demand more freedom or can the government successfully share the economic benefits thereby avoiding any serious unrest? I don't know, but Tibet could be a flashpoint and as foreign money, managers and trade increasingly break down the walls built by Mao and his successors the negatives will become much more apparent both the Chinese themselves and the rest of the world.

So far you have to acknowledge the fine job China's leadership have done in managing growth while retaining a stranglehold on political power. This will be fascinating to watch.