The Management Mythbuster

Customer service - why is it usually form over substance?

Customer service has become an all consuming mantra.  Any self respecting organization must emphasize its focus (often using adjectives like insane, passionate and dedicated) on customers, yet the reality is that most customer service is superficial. It consists of mechanical actions that lack genuine commitment and which are rarely backed by any authority to actually do something meaningful. Consider the following examples:       

1 "Can I help you sir?"  This is not bad in of itself but all too often I am asked this questions five times within three minutes of entering a store.  First, I am quite capable of asking for help if I need it so please just leave me alone. And second, if I do ask for your help, don't tell me that "Everything we have is on display" or "I'm sorry that's not my department."  Even worse is when the answer is "I don't know."  I received a call this morning from Bank of America who are theoretically handling my mortgage refinancing.  I have got this call every week for the past eleven weeks and every week it goes like this: a very polite person inquires if they can help me in anyway; I ask, "Can you tell me when the process will be complete?" they say, "I don't know sir, but I am sure it won't be long." Well thanks a bloody lot!

2. "Did you find everything you need?"  This is a retail favorite and most of the time I robotically answer with a dismissive "Yes." However once in a while I answer, "No." Typically this produces a reaction ranging from shock to bewilderment accompanied by absolutely no idea as to what to say next. If you can't do anything about it - don't ask.

3. "Excuse me sir"  This is usually uttered by the check-in clerk at a hotel.  I am standing in front of them trying to get my room key when the phone rings.  Suddenly I become invisible and the "answer every call on or before the second ring" mantra kicks in.  I then stand patiently as some idiot on the 8th floor asks for detailed reviews of fifteen local steak houses.

4. "How was your meal?" I don't mind getting this question once, but four times in eight minutes is bit much, particularly when it interrupts a conversation.  Why can't restaurant managers get it in their thick heads that when I am talking to my wife, children or a business associate it is not alright to interrupt?

If you want to serve me - just deliver what is promised and get the hell out of my way -  so there!

One year on - greed, arrogance, anger or stupidity?

On the morning of September 15th, 2008 I awoke in my hotel room in Prague feeling quite cheerful.  An early autumn morning in Prague will do that to you, so despite this being my 47th birthday I felt good and then I switched on CNN.  In New York it was the early hours of Monday morning and news was filtering out that Lehman Brothers was filing for bankruptcy and Merrill Lynch was being bought (or was it rescued?) by Bank of America.

It all sounded rather surreal as I gazed out over the grand old city before me. My mind flashed back to another birthday seven years earlier when my 40th fell four days after 9/11 and I had just managed to return home to Ohio after being stranded in LA for three days. While one cannot compare the financial losses of 2008 with the human losses of 2001 and the sacrifices of so many soldiers since, it does give further support to the fact that we live in a world where extraordinary events are now quite normal. Through some combination of arrogance, anger, greed, and stupidity mounting pressures are ignored only for them to explode with devastating results. Just as technology has connected the world is their some hope that technology can allow us to communicate more effectively and release tension before it all gets out of hand? 

I suspect it can - if we let it.

A warning for the US? Taxes could drive 1 in 10 UK businesses overseas.

More than one in ten UK businesses may relocate overseas in response to the "punitive" tax system http://tinyurl.com/m2v3yw.

Thirty years ago Margaret Thatcher started a decade long process of making the U.K. a much more attractive place to do business - exchange controls were removed, taxes lowered and the public sector shrank as government owned assets like British Gas, British Airways, Rolls Royce and British Telecom were privatized.  Capital and jobs flowed into the U.K. and a long economic boom took hold - now it is all at risk. Britain is seen as a less attractive place to do business and the price could be high. 

With a fluid global economy it is much easier to relocate both businesses and jobs as the growth in offshoring and the globalization of many industries (autos, technology, pharma) shows.  Is the the UK experience a warning for the US? Already the bureaucratic burden of doing business in many states is penal and the tax burden is heading in one direction only.  The US needs economic growth to raise tax revenues without raising tax rates. That requires incentives to build and grow businesses here.  The alternative is higher rates, less incentive to grow and more incentive to relocate overseas.  This is exactly the scenario that forced the UK to be bailed out by the IMF in the 1970's. I remember the three-day week and the endless strikes very well.  Let's hope today's leaders don't ignore yesterday's lessons.  

The Beer Wars are over -- cartel anyone?

Following my last post castigating Bud Light marketing I maybe forced to reassess the intelligence of the beer industry.  You know a market is not working properly when  consumption is down, the economy is still mired in recession, many of the target customers can't pay their mortgage and have lost their jobs, and the two dominant players raise their prices! http://tinyurl.com/l4brcw

The normal rules of economics in the beer market have been suspended. Anheuser-Busch InBev  and Miller-Coors control 80 percent of the U.S. beer market (at least for quantity but certainly not quality or taste) and both companies have simultaneously announced price rises. Smells fishy doesn't it?  This should prove an interesting test for the newly energized Federal Trade Commission.  I'm not sure if beer is a blue or red state issue but it is certainly populist.  Will the FTC act?  Should be a good one to watch...

Bud Light - pure marketing genius

The scene; a conference room in St. Louis

Big Cheese: "Well team, the football season is almost here, the perfect reason to drink gallons of Bud Light.  How do we capture that thirst? I don't want to wait for the Superbowl this year - after all the season is over by then."

Red Hot Marketing Whiz: "I think the NFL is the wrong wagon to hitch the Clydesdale to, we should go after the college game.  After all a lot of NFL games are played in frigid weather in godawful places like Buffalo, Cleveland and Green Bay - who wants acold beer when its -20 outside?. We should make Bud Light cans in the colors of top college teams.  After all who wouldn't want to sup a cold one while tailgating before a Texas, USC or Florida State game, never mind the millions who will happily chug a team brew sheaved in the college colors in front of the big screen with their frat brothers."

Big Cheese: "Sounds like a great idea but aren't most college students under 21?"

The Whiz (after loud guffaws): "Sure but we will make sure the promotion is targeted at the over 21's - no ads on Nick or Disney, just ESPN."

Big Cheese: "OK I like it. Do you think we can get in by the new bosses in Belgium?"

The Whiz: "Sure, the drinking age there is like, 12, isn't it?"

Big Cheese: "OK -  go for it."

And so another stroke of pure marketing genius is born...

More M&A blather...the myth of the deal

Has there ever been a CEO who, when making an acquisition, did not boast about the synergy of the deal? Yet despite the euphoria that typically accompanies any deal, the track record of realizing results is patchy at best. From the debacle that was AOL-Time Warner to Daimler's masterful acquisition of Chrysler (although you have to admire the way they got some money back by dumping the rotting carcus on Cerberus for a few billion) the corporate landscape is littered with the detritus of failed M&A hype.  Yet hope or is it spin springs eternal?

Recently consulting firms Watson Wyatt and Towers Perrin announced a merger and the leaders of new firm adhered to all the essential blather about the deal. It will of course "create one of the world's leading professional service firms" that is "well positioned for sustained growth and profitability." Naturally, the fit between the two firms is "excellent" with the two "sharing core values or respect, integrity and professionalism." Is there any professional service firm that does not have these as values?  There is no overlap as "our service lines and geographic strengths (are) highly complementary." This of course creates "excellent opportunities for growth" and don't forget it is a deal "that will change the ladnscape of the industry."   You know it may all be true but after decades of hearing the same tripe I don't believe any of it anymore...

Silverman leaves NBC but of course he wasn't fired...at least that's the spin

Ben Silverman is leaving NBC as "part of a larger re-organization" but he is still a good guy and his leaving has nothing to do with a series of expensive flops that occurred on his watch. Why is that the case? Well NBC CEO Jeff Zucker tells us so. "It's less about feeling I needed to change the management than it was that Ben had this opportunity to return to his entrepeneurial roots."  Of course we all believe him which is why the Wall Street Journal made it the lead story in today's marketplace section (link to story).

Another great example of the business of spin...right up there with "X (insert name of CEO) has the full confidence of the board."