The Management Mythbuster

Some things change, others don't - or Nevil Shute revisited

A few weeks ago I dug out a bunch of my father's favourite paperbacks. I remember as a kid he talked about Nevil Shute as one of his favourite authors. Shute is largely forgotten now but his novels A Town Like Alice and On The Beach were best sellers in the 50's and 60's and made into a couple of cool films.

Currently I'm reading the Lonely Road written in 1932; three passages caught my attention as reflective of both how much things have changed and how much things are the same:

1. "I was the last to leave, or one of the last. Our three cars were drawn up together outside the club, and because I could see that the others might want help I waited till they got away. Kennet was the first to go; he got in to second all right, but third defeated him, and so he went home like that."

Drinking and driving was commonly accepted back in '32, after all they were comparatively few cars on the roads and this was years before the breathalyser or the field sobriety test. As long as you didn't kill anyone it was perfectly acceptable to roll legless out of your club and navigate your home by whatever circuitous route took your fancy.

2. "So I ordered a cup of coffee for her; she would not eat anything because eating between meals was bad for the figure. Then I bought her cigarettes."

Back then smoking was cool and dare I say it healthy and snacking was universally bad. Now smoking kills and we are supposed to eat six small meals a day. No doubt in a few more years, smoking will be found to be perfectly safe and the low cholesterol will be found to be a dangerous killer!

3. Finally just to prove some things remain the same:

"But I tell you this, there's a darn sight more light manufactured stuff comes into this country than goes out of it."

Remember this was written seven years before WWII, the trade deficit was alive and well, at least in the U.K. well before Japan and China came on the scene.
By today’s standards the novels appear quaint and that’s exactly why I am enjoying them so much: plot matters, violence is muted and sex is barely implied although sexual tension riddles the stories. The issues have not dated at all: life after a nuclear holocaust (On The Beach); industrial decay (Ruined City); and dodgy military intelligence (Landfall). Oh, and the books are not 600 pages long.

Einstein and me

I have just finished reading Walter Isaacson's biography of good old Albert. I was struck by the parallels between the two of us! We both grew up in Europe and then moved to the U.S. where we both then became citizens. However, we shared somewhat confused views of our new homeland. As Isaacson comments about Al's view of America:

“He could recoil at its occasional displays of crassness and materialism, yet find himself powerfully drawn to the freedoms and unvarnished individuality that were on the flip side of the same coin.”

Very succinct and mirroring my own views exactly. Of course Al was just a little smarter than me. I barely understood Isaacsons's simplified descriptions of relativity and Al's other research. As far as I could tell the real message of relativity is demonstrated by the fact that when you are flying in a plane and try to pour coffee into a cup, the liquid falls straight into the cup because you, the coffee and the cup are all moving at 600mph. This of course would not happen if anyone of the three elements were moving at a different speed - imagine trying to pour coffee into a cup that is on a station platform while you and the coffee are on a train passing by at 100mph - that folks is relativity - at least I think it is!

Half the World Away - editors blues

For nearly 18 years I have been writing the book of this blog. How come you may ask, blogs are a relatively new phenomena aren't they? Well yes they are but this blog simply became an extension of my recording my multi-year cynicism. The fruits of all this labor should see the light of day shortly - I have an agent and a publisher so that nearly makes me a real author don't you think?

The last few days have caused me question my future as a writer. I have editing the final manuscript. It's amazing that even on the 40th or so revision I can still find stuff that reads like crap! Maybe I'm just not that good a writer. We artists are such sensitive souls and so self-critical. I think I need a hug.

Anyway editing is supposed to be easier in the PC-age. Well its not, courtesy of Microsoft Word's squiggly little red (spelling) and green (grammar) lines that make the text look like its been attacked by a drunken graffiti artist. the purist in me wants to eliminate all such imperfections from my witty, fluent prose, but I cannot bring myself to spell humour as humor or put a comma after every "which" but not after every "that". A friend suggested using the English/English spellchecker instead of the American/English one but the whole point of the book is to contrast the two countries. cultures and David Axson's who inhabit them.

Anyway the run through is complete and I think the book will shatter the conventional norms of published material. I have no idea what this means but I have been reading a book on how to market my book and the basic gist is to make outrageous claims that may or may not be true in order to generate a flood of orders. Its sort of like politics then isn't it.

So watch this space for further news on the imminent publication of Half the World Away. Rowling, Grisham and King better watch out!

Harry Potter vital to US economy - well part of it anyway!

This post will be hitting the net just as I take off from Stockholm on my way back to the US after a three week jaunt. My Swedish sojourn got me thinking about popular culture and economics - after all for many years ABBA were Sweden's biggest export - way ahead of of IKEA, Volvo and the rest.

The following comment was posted on the Wall Street Journal's website as Barnes and Noble, America's biggest book retailer announced disappointing results, "Barnes & Noble swung to a quarterly loss as its gross margin declined due to deeper member discounts. The next Harry Potter book is expected to boost sales in the current quarter."

Think about that for a moment. Barnes and Noble sells over 300 million books a year and each shop/store carries up to 200,000 different titles yet its whole financial quarter will be depednant upon the sales of just one title - talk about putting all your eggs in one basket. JK better deliver!

We are used to hearing that a movie studio's year can be made or broken by a single hit or flop but I am not sure I have seen the same criterion applied to books; after all more than 170,000 new books are published each year in the US which is just a little more, well about 169,400 more to be precise, than the number of movies Hollywood produces! Not only is Harry a book publishing phenomenon he is also a major economic driver, right up there with interest rates, housing starts and the price of pork belly futures...

Axson outsells Grisham, King, Dickens & Clinton!

Surely the royalties will start flowing now! My second book with the gripping title of "Best Practices in Planning and Performance Management" has just vaulted into the Top 5000 on Amazon's sales list! This stunning achievement probably reflects daily sales of about 12 copies but nonetheless it elevates me into elite company. The Da Vinci Code (#3,000), Hemingway's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" and a number of Stephen King novels are my near neighbours on the list. More statisfying still is that my exulted rank leaves such literary masters as Dickens (around #1,000,000), Shakespeare, and even Bill Clinton floundering in my wake. No doubt the world is finally waking up to the attractions of a rolling forecast versus a good horror story. More likely it is the direct of a small number of the 500 people who attended my speech last Monday deciding to try out my theory that my tome is the perfect cure for insomnia.

This instant feedback is one of the cool things about the Internet age. I can see my sales fluctuate by the hour and also check out my eBay buyer/seller rating, see how many of you actually look at this post, Google myself a few times and I suppose if I were a Youtube type of guy I could check out my latest ratings. Of course this could be a double edged sword as my ego is a fragile thing and any downturn in my ratings may induce severe depression.

Damn - I dropped to #16,722 on Amazon - pass the Prozac...

Potter withdrawal

I can see it already - blogs will chronicle the societal impact (does that count as a self-fulfilling prophecy?), schools will set up special counseling programs, churches will throw open their doors to the distraught, Barnes and Noble will have doctors stationed by the checkouts ready to dispense much needed depressions pills.  Hysterical young girls will be weeping in the streets, the boys will stoically suck it up.  The cause of this mass outpouring of emotion?  The end of the Harry Potter saga. 

By about noon on July 21st about 4 billion people will start suffering withdrawal symptoms as they close Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and begin to ponder life without Quidditch.  The effect will be akin to ripping an IV out of a wounded man's arm.  J.K. Rowling will need to go into hiding as irate fans seek assurances that book seven just marks the end of the beginning for Harry and friends; Salman Rushdie had it easy by comparison. The consolation will be that her net worth will rocket past that of Belgium and the US will offer her citizenship and most of Wyoming if she moves here thereby single handedly wiping out the U.S. trade deficit. 

A few enterprising authors will craft prequels covering Harry's birth and the death of his parents and no doubt there will be sequels if Harry survives J.K. Rowling's final chapter; if not expect Ron and Hermione to pick up the mantle. The series will be perpetuated on film much as James Bond moved beyond the realm of Ian Fleming's books.  Of course there will be a very bad television spin off put on by one of the American networks in a vain attempt to cash in.  Unfortunately, Harry's Brooklyn accent, Hermione being renamed Kaitlyn, the relocation of Hogwarts to West Hollywood, and the casting of Kevin Federline as Professor Snape doesn't resonate with fans and the show is cancelled after a single episode. 

After five years, J.K. makes a comeback with a new seven part series about a psychic dog called Fred...

Sales update - watch out Grisham

My new book (see "New Bestseller Imminent" posted on 3rd January) has rocketed up Amazon's sales charts to #242,922!!!  I suspect this is solely because Jean in Minneapolis ordered a copy - so thank you, Jean but try and get a life...

Grisham and King better watch out "I'm coming to get you!"

New Bestseller Imminent!

Today I had one of those ego-boosting experiences that are so vital to the fragile male psyche.  Unfortunately it had nothing to do with sex but it still felt good.  Early this afternoon the UPS guy delivered three large packages which I eagerly ripped open like a three year old on Christmas morning. There inside sat pristine copies of my new book which will be officially published on 9th January. 

Unfortunately it is not the book that inspired this blog, although that should appear sometime later this year. No, this addition to the pantheon of great literature has the gripping title of Best Practices in Planning and Performance Management and is sure to takes its place alongside the great non-fiction works of the 21st century. In fact if you can contain your enthusiasm no longer click here to secure your own personal copy.  I have it on good authority that my prose is the perfect cure for insomnia although the FDA is reluctant to rule on the issue until more data is in - yet another reason purchase a copy!

This is actually the second edition and represents about a 40 percent rewrite (yes there were quite a few errors!) from the first which was released in 2003.  I fully expect to to be able to quit my real job in the near future and join the Grisham's, Brown's and Rowling's of the world in devoting all my energy to literary endeavors (and golf). 

One thing is for sure I will be checking Amazon.com daily to see my latest sales rank; currently I languish at 689,556 but with your help I am sure that I can make the top half million soon...