Customer service has become an all consuming mantra. Any self respecting organization must emphasize its focus (often using adjectives like insane, passionate and dedicated) on customers, yet the reality is that most customer service is superficial. It consists of mechanical actions that lack genuine commitment and which are rarely backed by any authority to actually do something meaningful. Consider the following examples:
1 "Can I help you sir?" This is not bad in of itself but all too often I am asked this questions five times within three minutes of entering a store. First, I am quite capable of asking for help if I need it so please just leave me alone. And second, if I do ask for your help, don't tell me that "Everything we have is on display" or "I'm sorry that's not my department." Even worse is when the answer is "I don't know." I received a call this morning from Bank of America who are theoretically handling my mortgage refinancing. I have got this call every week for the past eleven weeks and every week it goes like this: a very polite person inquires if they can help me in anyway; I ask, "Can you tell me when the process will be complete?" they say, "I don't know sir, but I am sure it won't be long." Well thanks a bloody lot!
2. "Did you find everything you need?" This is a retail favorite and most of the time I robotically answer with a dismissive "Yes." However once in a while I answer, "No." Typically this produces a reaction ranging from shock to bewilderment accompanied by absolutely no idea as to what to say next. If you can't do anything about it - don't ask.
3. "Excuse me sir" This is usually uttered by the check-in clerk at a hotel. I am standing in front of them trying to get my room key when the phone rings. Suddenly I become invisible and the "answer every call on or before the second ring" mantra kicks in. I then stand patiently as some idiot on the 8th floor asks for detailed reviews of fifteen local steak houses.
4. "How was your meal?" I don't mind getting this question once, but four times in eight minutes is bit much, particularly when it interrupts a conversation. Why can't restaurant managers get it in their thick heads that when I am talking to my wife, children or a business associate it is not alright to interrupt?
If you want to serve me - just deliver what is promised and get the hell out of my way - so there!