The Management Mythbuster

Now I am a "Witness" too

LeBron James hit the sports scene in 2002 as a so-called basketball phenom right here in my hometown of Akron.  He went to St. Vincent St Mary High School and his high school games were televised by ESPN.  Despite being only seven miles way, I never saw him play.  Then our local NBA team, the Cleveland Cavaliers literally won the lottery and LeBron was drafted number 1 by the team in 2003.  He is now in his sixth season with the team but until Sunday night I had not seen him play for them either.  I have seen him riding around on his bike and driving by in his Hummer - his house is about two miles down the road from mine - not quite neighbours but close enough.

Watching him play in real life is even more impressive than on television. I'm no expert but even I can tell he's in a different class.  He also seems to be a different class of person - this guy is a good role model.  Anyway the game against the Detroit Pistons was over by halftime - the Pistons exhibited many of the characteristics of their automotive brethren - firing on a single cylinder. 

Of course this being Cleveland it is highly unlikely the Cavs will win it all and if they don't the speculation about LBJ heading off for the bright lights of New York will only intensify.  While discussing this possibility with my daughter yesterday she bemoaned how all Cleveland's best players leave town for big money elsewhere.  Her suggestion was that LeBron should head for another small town where he can turn around their fortunes and be a hero - her recommendation was Kansas City.  I gently pointed out that there was no NBA team in Kansas City.  Her response?  "Even better, LeBron can build his own team."  Now there's an interesting idea...

Restores your faith in human nature doesn't it?

It has been a great few days for restoring my faith in the absolute stupidity of humanity.  Just when I thought honesty, truth and integrity were making a comeback! To wit:

• The Japanese finance minister resigns after his hangover cure fails miserably at the G-7 summit.  At least he had the guts to admit to imbibing but then spoiled it all by denying being drunk and blaming some medicine for his haggard state.
• Alex Rodriguez restores our faith in the dishonesty of athletes by finally admitting to using steroids.  Of course he did not know what they were and was very young and naive at the time.  Not naive enough to avoid the $252 million contract of course. Apparently there are over 100 others who got caught which based upon normal statistics means the list of clean players must be very short indeed.  Probably not enough to staff the Cleveland Indians outfield!
• The esteemed Senator from Illinois admits to soliciting donations for Rod the Rogue Governor despite early denials.  Its not that he lied that bothers me; its that he failed to raise any money - what sort of politician is this guy?  He deserves to be sacked for being such an incompetent fundraiser.
• Back in Blighty, the Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith assures us she "followed all the rules" in claiming over $200,000 in housing allowances for her family home by designating her sister's flat in London to be her primary residence despite only spending a couple of nights a week there.

I suppose I should admit to my own failings, so here is my mea culpa:

• I failed to by my darling wife a Valentines Card until Saturday afternoon; worse I made up for it by writing an excruciating poem for her!
• I have rolled through at least sixteen Stop signs in the last week.
• I stayed up until 1am one night last week getting destroyed by youngsters while playing Call of Duty on the Xbox - they really should be in bed at that time and lets us old geezers stumble around after each other
• I've probably consumed an excess glass of wine or five, all in the comfort of my own home I hasten to add
• I filed my tax return yesterday and tried my best to be honest and accurate. After all Timothy Geithner is my hero.

That's all folks!

Valentines Day -- Why do we fall for this rubbish?

Romance? Fuhgedaboutitt.  Valentines Day is all about one thing and you don't need a degree in psychology to guess what that is, especially if you watch adverts from the companies seeking to profit from your guilt, sorry love, for that special person.

Pajama gram guarantees that she will get her clothes off (hardly a stretch I think) for you if you purchase one of their offerings which range from "soft to sexy." The company thoughtfully includes a handy "do not disturb" sign in the package.  I guess that's to ensure she gets an uninterrupted night's sleep in her new PJ's.  Beyond pajama's everyone else from Victoria's Secret to Ambiance is even less subtle about the "guaranteed" result of your spending.

If nightwear isn't your thing, Vermont Teddy Bear is the answer.  Their TV ad is one of those really cheap affairs that looks like it could be the opening scene of one of those films where the first scene is the only one in which clothes are worn.  The spot guarantees that the bear of your choice will elicit girlish squeals from your Valentine and envy from all her friends.  Of course this will all but guarantee that she will get bare (or is it bear?) for you.

In these web-enabled times perhaps you should go for the personalized domain name for your loved one.Go Daddy is thoughtfully offering you 10 percent off this truly 21st century valentine.

It was so much easier in the old days when all you needed was a single red rose but even one of those costs too much in these harsh economic times so I think I will settle for delivering a cup of tea in bed to my beloved.  That usually works!

What did he say?

I've said a lot of stupid things in my time and no doubt will add to my oeuvre in the years to come.  The good news is I am not alone. Many people who are supposedly smarter than me and certainly richer than me have successfully managed to insert their foot in their mouth to great effect. 

A few years ago Michael Eisner, the former CEO of Walt Disney described the first few weeks after the opening of the EuroDisney theme park in 1992, thus: "We've already had a million German and a million British visitors, and to have those numbers in France without a war going on is really something."  Very eloquent don't you think. 

More recently there have been some great quotes regarding the financial crisis. Last September, Hank Greenberg, former CEO of AIG in September 2008 commented on the company: "It's a healthy company financially except for liquidity." Well that's o.k. then; I'm glad they didn't have any other problems or else it may have cost us more than the $150 billion committed to the company's bailout so far.

And then last week there were two really good ones...

John Chambers, CEO of Cisco, while announcing his company's results on 4th February 2009 shocked the world with his observation: "It is now clear that we are in a global economic slowdown." As my kids would say "Well Duh!"   Where has this guy been for the last few months that only now is he beginning to realize the economy is in the crapper?

And finally our new President is not immune. As nominee after nominee went down to tax-related scandals he commented:  "it's important for this administration to send a message that there aren't two sets of rules."  I agree Mr. President, but what about Mr. Geithner? There are already two sets of rules they just apply to different people in different ways.  This is also a great argument for flat tax don't you think?

Back in the USSR

Next month I will visit Moscow for the first time in 32 years! Believe it or not, I was in Moscow when I found out that Elvis had died! I can't wait to see what's changed and perhaps more interestingly what's stayed the same.

 As someone who grew up in the shadow of the Iron Curtain I was well accustomed to deriding the Soviet economic system.  In 1977, as a fifteen-year old high schooler, I got to experience Soviet Russia first hand.  During a ten-day stay in Moscow and St. Petersburg (then still called Leningrad), I witnessed the sparse selection of goods on offer in the massive GUM department store in Red Square, traded ballpoint pens for rubles with which I couldn’t find anything to buy, and listened to lecturers proudly proclaim the Soviet economic miracle.  I well remember one chart that showed the rate of inflation in the USSR since the end of the Second World War.  The graph showed a straight horizontal line at the zero percent level on the y-axis.  It defied all logic and thirteen years later it all came tumbling down – literally in the case of the Berlin Wall.

All these experiences armed me with considerable biases that I had to suppress while reading the text of Russian prime-minster, Vladimir Putin’s speech to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland last week.  Surely a Russian (and a former Communist) could not offer anything of value on the subject of managing in a world of turbulence?  But some of Putin’s words made perfect sense.  First he nailed the economic downturn of 2008 by describing it as: “The world is now facing the first truly global economic crisis, which is continuing to develop at an unprecedented pace.”

Putin went on to liken the events of 2008 to a perfect storm and offered sage advice to managers trying to cope in such an environment: “Responsible and knowledgeable people must prepare for it.” He went to outline some of the failings that resulted in a singular lack of preparation: weak regulation; greed; and a failure to acknowledge risk. However, to a Cold War baby like me, his most startling statement of all was that: “Excessive intervention in economic activity and blind faith in the state's omnipotence is another possible mistake.”

Wow! We’ve certainly come a long way in the last twenty years when a Russian warns America against excessive government intervention!!!