Yesterday 101 golfers descended on Red Tail Golf Club on the west side of Cleveland to begin their quixotic quest for a place in the U.S.Open next month at Torrey Pines in California. It is doubtful that any of them will actually make it that far as they represent a small portion (just 1.2% in fact) of the 8,390 dreamers who entered the championship. All but 58 must try to qualify. Red Tail is just one of the 111 sites at this first stage where seven golfers "qualified" to compete in the second stage at one of 13 sites for the privilege of hitting balls next to Tiger at Torrey.
Over a twelve-hour spell I got to see all 101 in action at Red Tail while volunteering as a rules official. This sounds very grand but in fact entails sitting in a golf cart for long periods of time; helping many who have no chance to qualify look for balls in the rough or water hazards; and occasionally helping them work out how best to incur a few penalty stokes. I do get a rather snazzy sign on my golf cart that says "Rules" and a nice badge to wear. For my toil I get a free lunch (a rather tasty turkey wrap, a bag of Sun Chips and a Pepsi) and some sunburn.
As for the quality of the golf - variable would be a polite description. Don't get me wrong, all 101 players would have little difficulty handling yours truly, but less than ten come close in any way shape or form to a top class touring pro never mind Tiger, Phil or Ernie. The players are mostly young college golfers or pro's scrabbling around in the minor leagues with a few local club pros thrown into the mix.
At my station on the second hole, three of the first six players manage to dump their drives in the water hazard on the right side of the fairway while another deposits not one but two balls in the gardens of homes abutting the left side of the fairway thereby ending any chance of progressing before making it to the third tee. No birdies are recorded in the first ten groups. And so it continues. A former "can't miss" college star hacks his way to a nice double bogey seven on the par-5 third in a style more reminiscent of David Axson than Davis Love; another three putts from three feet for a smooth triple bogey. One player becomes so disenchanted on the 13th that he simply hands his scorecard to his playing partners, apologises to them and walks back to the car park. A few minutes later a ten is recorded on 14 - the victim laughs about it but it’s only on the surface. Just a few minutes later someone records a 2 on the same hole as their long approach shot rolls into the hole – he laughs as well.
By 4pm a small group hangs around the scoreboard anxiously waiting to see if they have “made it.” Low score so far is 70 (2-under) and those on 74 have a chance. By 4.30pm the best round of the day is completed by Andrew Dresser a former college star at Texas Tech and now a grinder on the wonderfully named Hooters Tour. A very polite and personable young man he is one of the few I watch who hits the ball like a real pro, unfortunately his putting is less sound otherwise he could easily have shot a 65 or better. Still his score dumps the 74's so two or three of the "throng" depart the leader board, while those remaining lament missed putts or bad bounces as all golfers do at the end of their round. A few minutes later the 73's wave goodbye to their chances. I venture back out onto the course and help one poor soul find his ball. he thanks me and says, "I feel sorry for the poor guys I'm playing with I'm hitting it so bad." I tell him it’s not the first time today I've heard that, so don't worry about it.
Our leader is now on his way to the next Hooters event in Kentucky or somewhere and calls from his car to check on his position. We reassure him he is still "good." By day's end seven players on 72 or better "make it." The final guy in is a very pleasant French-Canadian who wins a playoff for the final spot after having hung around for six hours after finishing his round.
By days end these seven have their dreams still alive; many others will no doubt be back next year for another go. Few have any chance but you know if I could get my handicap down just a few more strokes I would definitely join them.
To many golf is tedious and boring, my own dear wife calls it, a good walk spoiled, yet its also a game of character. Every player today was unfailingly polite to each other, respectful of the officials (many even thanked me for giving up my time to volunteer), well turned out (except for a few plaid disasters, thank goodness polyester is a thing of history) and complementary of good play by their opponents. Not once did I hear anyone complain when the rules required a penalty. There are no flagrant fouls in golf. For that all 101 players were entitled to dream and 94 of them will still be convinced that they could have made it, "If only..."
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